On Father’s Day

My Dearest Papa,

Hugs Hugs Hugs🤗🤗🤗. I am back, with yet another letter on yet another Father’s Day. So first is first. I Missed You, lots and lots. I Love You and think of you every day won’t say it doesn’t hurt anymore, it does, it still does, but see, it’s healing. I am doing good, I know you already know but let me say it and feel the words in my bones “I am doing good”. I get all the help you send me, the gifts too, and the flowers. Yeahhhh, I got those Mogra you used to get for me, they are growing in the plants of our patio and the cake you sent through my cousin on my birthday, I got that too. I got your birthday present also, along with your message to hone my creative writing. I am working on it, I know that you are expecting something great from me this year, I am trying hard to deliver.

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This one reminds me of all the times when I would tell you to take me along on your tours obliviously making you helpless.

I know you have scolded me twice these days for binging on sweets, I am trying to get off them but you I have a weakness for sweets. You know, I am learning so much, trying to use significant words as you did. You remember that time when I was just four or five, that summer you took Mum and me and Uncle to Nainital, and we were strolling down the Mall Road there while I was holding your finger in my fist. Sure you do remember, how often you used to tell me that anecdote of mine when I would leave your hand and walk into any store that had glittering lights and colours and then you had to pick me up so I won’t walk away. You know I remember a li’l bit of that day too. I remember you talking to uncle, and you used a particular word that seemed like a real heavy and tough word to me, I practised it, memorised it, because I wanted to be like you, you were always my hero. That word was “of course”, haha, yeahh, such a simple word but to me, it was no less than Oxford dictionary back then. But now I can even make out what Shashi Tharoor says, haha. I so wish you could see me today, but then, you are always watching over me.

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This one is so you and me Papa, I remember how you used to cover me within a blanket and tell me it’s our cave.

Mumma is better, thank you for that. She dances sometimes; it makes my heart ache with pride. She has a fighters spirit. So much she lost but not once she let her pain reach me and she learned to be on her own. It makes a weight lift off my chest when I see her laugh and dance. Now, she even goes to movies sometimes, and you won’t believe how tech savvy she has become since her new phone. She misses you, she still needs you but what’s sanguine is the fact that she believes in her heart that you are still with us, that’s her strength, it keeps her going. She isn’t even angry at God like me. Papa, sometimes, without a reason, just like you did, she kisses me and loves me, now I don’t need to prompt her to do it, she does it on her own, thank you, Papa.

I won’t say life is a bed of Roses, but it’s not a walk on embers either. There are new wounds on both of us, on our person and our hearts but we stand after each fall, we hold each other securely. Wagon R has got old, and so has your Blackberry, I think they both will have to go. I think we will be selling your office soon. No, not for the money, but just because it’s in a dilapidated condition and it hurts to see it like that. You must be wondering, what’s with the letting go thing. You know after this long time what I realised, I will have to let go off all your materialistic things, tangible things one day, just like I had to let go of your physical presence, but I won’t ever ever ever let go on you, your memories, your values and your love. Yes, I would miss calling it ‘Papa’s car’, ‘Papa’s Phone’, I would miss calling it ‘Papa’s Office’ just like I miss calling you ‘Papa’. I miss all those love names; I miss the pseudo fights, I miss those long conversations and that companionable silence. I miss your footfalls in the corridor and your positivity in my heart.

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This makes me so nostalgic, I can still hear your voice when you had promised me that you are my wall and till you are with me, nothing bad or evil touches me.

There’s so much to say; I am not done yet. But then I can write volumes and tomes to you. I wish this weren’t a one-sided talk; I wish you were here and talking to me right now. I wish Mum had you by her side and I didn’t have to see that shadow of feeling odd one out between couples. I almost get so nostalgic for your voice that it’s unbearable.

You know I didn’t want to grow up. Sometimes I still feel like whining and throwing a tantrum that I want you. I still want to be the unreasonable li’l girl that wanted her father in hard times, bad times, good times, fun times; testing times come what may. The girl who called you up in Chennai and told you to come back home sooner and you humoured her with a beautiful lie by saying Yes. I want to wait for you at the door, checking the time every few minutes and run to you at the sounds of your wheels on the gravel, run like the wind in your arms and not let go. I want to forget everything except the father who didn’t just gave me life but taught me how to live it with my head held high. But, I am proud to say that the li’l girl is a bittersweet memory to me now and this woman writing to you has finally decided to grow up. She’s matured and wants to shoulder her responsibility. Just stay by my side and guide me on the way. You are still my Hero!

Happy Father’s Day Papa! 🌹
I Love You Forever And Ever❤️❤️❤️

Your loving daughter,
Gudiya

PS: You have left everything that was once yours with me but remembers, you still owe me perfume and 2.5 Lacs, and I always have been a good bookkeeper.

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I Sense A Presence XII

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Sally couldn’t believe her ears. She jumped out of the bed and left the room in a hurry lest not to disturb Henry.

“Are you sure? You better be serious, I am in no mood for your pranks Josh” warned a shocked Sally yet keeping decibels quite low.

“Prank!! At this hour!! I thought you know me better than this. I agree that I goofed up by calling at this hour but my suspicion about having seen her before isn’t wrong at all. Her awkward hesitant behavior in our short meeting if at all you have noticed especially when I told her that it seems it isn’t our first meeting kept me pondering over and over – Who is she? Did I actually see her before? Some flashes from past about a certain case started hoovering around in my mind. Once I reached the station, the first thing that I…

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TIDES WILL TEACH TO SWIM

Candles Online

That’s quite cliché and cheesy, as if from a run to mill Bollywood masala movie, isn’t it? But ironically that’s the reality of life. * Note: don’t try underwater stunts if you don’t know how to swim.

Well, that joke bombed. So let’s talk about life now. What marks a transition in an individual? Marriage, heartbreak, love, responsibilities, failures, success….. It’s endless, each person has different factors or trigger points that set the change, marking the arrival of new perceptions towards how one views life. For me, it was the serious financial crunch that hit our family (2003-2006) due to a blindfolded decision was taken by my father based on his trust in a person who is quite close to us. That decision proved to be fatal. If I say we were hand to mouth, it won’t be an exaggeration. Our financial condition was always somewhat strained as far as…

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I Sense A Presence XI

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“Not for once he cared to know the details of Josh. Is it trust or indifference? This man never fails to puzzle me” Sally kept thinking for a while as her eyes followed the Henry before he vanished from her sight.

As he went away she picked up her phone and instantaneously called Josh.

“Hi Josh, Sally here. Henry told me about your call. Tell me” Sally stretched herself a bit as she started speaking to Josh.

“Are you ok or it is your normal regime for get up around this time” Josh had a pinch of sarcasm mixed with concern in his tone. “Actually saw you a bit worried yesterday so called to check upon you” Josh mentioned his reason to call her.

“Yeah I am fine, it’s just that couldn’t sleep last night, nothing to really worry about” Sally replied. After a brief chit chat she invited Josh…

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RESPECT AND ACCEPTANCE – A LOVELY COUPLE

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Gaurav and Sweekriti are at the sessions court, they came for a hearing as they have applied for divorce. Court gave adjournment of six months which is a normal practice for couples applying for divorce to give them time to rethink their decision.

Gaurav and Sweekriti, married for 5 years now after a breif courtship period of 5 months are at a pedestal today where they don’t want to continue their relationship. And it was their mutual decision and they didn’t involve their respective families for they feared that they might be pressurised for the sake of SOCIETY. They are individuals having their respective perspectives towards life, love an independence. Amidst all the disagreements and arguments one thing that they agreed upon is separation is the independence and MIGHT bring happiness to them.

As they were waiting the period of six months given by the court to pass, they had…

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WHEN YOU GET FRIEND ZONED

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An eighteen years old girl – cluelessly, hopelessly romantic, believed in celluloid romance. She met a guy through a common friend. Thanks to the well-knit colonies everyone knows everyone through someone. And when she introduced the girl to boy, the girl found him to be perfect – handsome, witty, well mannered – in short, a character right out of her favourite romantic novel and movies.

Their interaction started over the phone. Soon the conversations progressed from pleasantry exchanges to deep conversations. She fell for him. His charm swept her off her feet. And she sensed reciprocation of her feelings every time he would smile, spoke to her for hours over the phone. When they agreed to meet on 14th February… A day that needs no explanation for why it is celebrated, she was very excited and elated.

She dressed carefully, wanted to look her best for she never had confidence…

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MERCI BEAUCOUP MON AMIE!

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Dearest Shruti,

Hi. Won’t ask you about your well-being and the quintessential things people ask in a letter; we have smartphones for that. But I would say things that are difficult to speak on the call, but they are simpler to write.

We are school friends and are still going strong, despite the miles spread out between us, you are closer to my heart than most people living near me. I am writing today to thank you for being my friend.

We don’t call each other for months on end, but your welfare and well-being are always on my mind. I know the same goes for you. We belong to the era when we didn’t need FB or Insta or WhatsApp to stay in touch. We used to visit each other.

You have stood by me through my thick and thin. You were always so easy to like, love, be…

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THANK YOU STRANGER FOR THESE WINGS

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Dear Diary,

15 years back I had a very comfortable life, my husband was earning well and kids were doing good too. My role was that of a provider to the demands like housewives in our country are expected to do. I always aspired to be a dancer but with marriage, I packed my aspirations in a bag on the way to my new address. And really never got a chance to open up that sealed bag (smiles). Responsibilities piled up so does the monotony and mundaneness of life. At the end of the day, I had this feeling of being hollow from within. But no matter what, I had (still have) this habit of visiting the local library every 15 days. There I met this stranger. She was searching for a book on Indian classical dance. And coincidentally I was reading the same genre. She came to me and…

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I Sense A Presence VII

world4womencom

Sense of being choked to death in her sleep left Sally perplexed. She reached out to the glass of water on her bedside and saw the diary she was reading before she dozed off. Her fingers danced in confusion for a while that whether she should pick up the diary and start from where she has left. After few moments of dilemma she pulled the drawer, put the diary back and picked up aspirin instead as the disturbed sleep left her with a severe headache.

Ward off bad dreams” grunted Sally, tossing in her bed. It was 4 AM, when she finally slept. Four and a half hours later she heard some footsteps pacing up and down the room. It was Henry getting ready for the office. Around 8:30 AM he kissed her forehead and lovingly “Honey have a great day, I am leaving for the office”. Both…

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I Sense A Presence VI

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Sally kept on her excavation to see what else this room hosts. There were more words engraved very minutely. They seemed to be cluster of bees, making it difficult for Sally to read. They were entangled mangle of letters. She could hardly phrase out – mad, free, go. That extra stress on her eyes made her shut down that exercise in the middle.

“Huh” grunted Sally as she shifted her focus to the rest of the room. In her quest she found a very dirty gown and wrapped in it a book, probably a diary. Pages have age written all over them, few were torn, writing was neat to begin with but slowly became more scribbled.

Sally took the diary upstairs and preserved reading for sometime later. In the evening Henry arrived with their guest – Tracy. Sally warmly welcomed her. Tracy was a 38 years old, beautiful looking woman…

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