I Was A Copycat !

Copycat

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by Sakhi Bansal

I was a Copycat ! Yes, that’s true. My mom would sit in front of the dressing table and I would run to my little toy cabinet and get my mirror and sit nest to her and watch her closely. Observing her each move I will apply fake lipstick and put fake nail polish. She would put rollers and I would put toy rollers and then she will brush her hair I would follow suit. She will puff her perfume and I will do the same with a little perfume Papa got me. And when she would preen herself in the mirror I will do the same like a lil copycat. She looked at me all the while but never stopped me from copying her, and then she will kiss me when she was ready telling me I looked better than her, and I would blush. She will look at me fondly and apply a bit of her lipstick on my lips and smile as I would purse my lips together like her. That was such beautiful moment. Papa would call me a copycat and I would shy away hiding face in his shoulder.

Years passed and that memory was buried deep under the huge pile of memorable moments. But I was reminded of it in the most awesome way today when I saw my little niece doing the same thing to me. She was grooming herself with me, by my side, copying my actions spot on. It made me feel so loved and idolized. It was a heady moment to see the little angel looking up to me as her role model as she mimicked me. I was having  a Deja Vu and was nostalgic as I relived those moments when I copied my mom like that. I kissed her so much not just for her cute little endeavors but also for the little girl from my childhood, I loved myself in that moment. The little me idolized her mom, the little I thought mom was the most beautiful in the whole world, the little me was trying to follow her footsteps.

You know what, my mom is older now, but she is still beautiful, I still idolize her and try to imitate her words, her wisdom, her talents, her charm, her cooking, her systematic nature but I realized she is unique and she is one of her kind. Yet, that won’t stop me from being her copy cat even today. The only difference was the little I showed her adoration so openly, so obviously, so completely while the older me, she doesn’t want to let her mom know how much she adores her, how much she is fascinated by her and how much she wants to be her shadow. I, this I makes us something we are not, we are lost in this I and forget to be ME, I make me so selfish that it won’t admit that it is totally smitten by her own mother. Kids are so much better at expressing themselves, they are so much bolder, so unadulterated. My little niece introduced me to that little me today, and it was a heady moment. I so wished in that moment to turn into a little girl and let my mother know how much she means to me without ego and pride blocking my way. I so wanted to tell her that I am still a  COPYCAT !!!